Waiting Waiting Waiting

I have not posted in a while. We went through the evaluations with Austin late last week and now I am just waiting. Doctor says it should take about a week and then she will meet with me for a consultation. I wonder if that week is Dr. talk for a month or if it is a week in real people time?

I'm not very patient and I just want to move on to the next step. I am always thinking ahead. I just want to verify that we are not bad parents, we just have a son with a challenging disability, illness, whatever it is called...if "it" is anything at all.

It's sad but I am really wanting to label this. I want a label so we can treat him. Part of me wonders if all of this is one big overreaction and the Dr. will come back and tell me he is a normal boy with normal issues, but most of me knows that is most likely not the case.

He really has been good for us lately. I wonder if he is somewhat relieved, like he feels we are moving in a positive direction for him. He still causes several small disturbances throughout the day but nothing that pushes me completely over the edge like he usually does.

So for now, I wait. I analyze. I blame myself. I analyze some more . I hope. I wait.

Waiting sucks.

During this time I find myself being more and more introverted. I am frustrated with the people I call my friends, because frankly I feel they have not been supportive through this. I honestly don't think they understand. It is hard when your child has behavioral issues verses physical illness. People are quick to point fingers at you, the parent. Even if they aren't outwardly doing it, they are wondering what we did wrong. Believe me, I wonder that too sometimes, but I know deep in my heart that we have been great parents and I know that this is not our fault.

So, that is where I am at. I'll update if I get a diagnoses or some news.

Oh and "Wilma" my co-worker. She is still in bad shape. She comes in to work limping and now she is retaining water and swollen. She still has not been in to her Dr. I scolded her a a bit today and told her if she was my Mom I'd drive her to the ER. I am worried about her. Her hands turn purple after she eats and she gets red blotches on her face. She is tired and dizzy too. She needs to take some time off work and recover but she can't afford to miss work. She told me she has no savings and lives off her pay. I told her to look around her home and if there is anything she wants to get rid of I would be happy to take pictures and post ads for her on Craigslist. I just want to help her any way I can and somehow convince her not to be so stubborn and see her Dr!

Please keep her in your prayers.

Thanks!