Food for the Soul

A while ago I mentioned my co-worker "Wilma" she has not gotten any better. In fact she has taken a leave of absence from work because she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. It sounds bad, but it is a condition that can be treated if she gets the proper care. The problem is she is quite stubborn and doesn't like to go to the Dr. for the simple fact that it costs money.

She started retaining water and has since put on 40 (yes FORTY) pounds of water weight! Her condition is serious but her response to getting care is quite relaxed. We can't push her too hard so all we can do is offer to help and hope she allows us to.

A lot of us at work have gotten together to intervene. There is a lot of talk on how we want to help and I decided to stop talking and just do.

I called her today and basically told her I was coming over with some meals. Naturally she hesitated and I said that I wanted to do this and I insist. She agreed. I ran around like a mad woman to the store then to my home, tearing up my kitchen and making quite a bit of freezable food to hold her over a good week or two! I also got her some disposable plates, silverware, and cups so she would not have to worry about dishes.

My husband had his relatives and the kids in the mountains today so I took advantage of this alone time to spend with Wilma.

I cannot tell you how happy I felt when I saw the smile on her face.

Her home is a double wide in a quiet mobile park. It is 33 years old. Just like me. With the exception of a newer Maytag stove, no upgrades have been done to this house. Wood paneling graced the walls, padded linoleum on the kitchen and bathroom floors. Cut and shag orange and beige carpet under my feet. Old pictures of her and her brother placed on the dresser in the room her parents shared. Hand sewn dresses that she made for her mother sit in a wardrobe her father handcrafted.

In her room books line one wall from floor to ceiling. Harlequin Romanace novels, and Nancy Drew mysteries. She is an avid reader and her book collection is impressive. There is a sitting room with a console stereo that plays 8-tracks and records. Stepping into her home is like walking out of a time machine. It is quite remarkable!

Wilma grew up with her parents and her brother. They were a close knit family. Eventually her brother married and moved several hours away, leaving Wilma to care for their elderly parents. Eventually her parents passed in that home about 2 years apart from each other. Wilma is left alone and has grown accustomed to living out her days alone amungst her tiny tv and her novels. She keeps her home quite tidy, though during my visit she was embarrassed about the dishes that were taking over her kitchen. She does not own a dishwasher and has to handwash everything. It is hard for her to stand for long periods of time. I insisted that she let me take care of the dishes and she told me not to worry about it. I told her I wanted to help.

Wilma is religious and I knew this. I pulled out the "Let me serve you. Jesus asks us to serve each other so please, let me fulfill His request." Well, that worked like a charm! *High five to the Big Guy* I spent the rest of the afternoon doing dishes and talking with her about so many wonderful things. She would get bursts of energy and get up to help dry the dishes as I washed them. She told me her mother used to wash while she dried. It seemed to bring back some good memories for her and I could tell the past few years of standing alone at the sink were hard for her.

I gently suggested ways she could get around the house easier. She had kept her parents canes and walkers and I suggested she have a walker handy when she is sitting so it would not be so difficult to get up. I also suggested she get a life alert button to wear because all she has in the home is an old rotary phone. She has already had a couple of incidents where she had to crawl to her room because she could not stand. This is so upsetting for me to hear. I want so badly to adopt this woman and take her under my wing without her feeling like I feel sorry for her. I honestly admire her and really feel she is an amazing person with a lot to teach me. As much as she feels I was helping her today, she has no idea how much she helped me.

After a few hours, I had to leave to get back home and meet the kiddos. I told her I would be back and I'd bring some DVD's for her to watch. She actually has a DVD player that she received from a neice as a gift. She has no idea how to work it though so we will save that lesson for my next visit! I plan to make her some zucchini bread and print out a lot of info on congestive heart failure so she understands what things to look for in case her situation becomes urgent.

What I have learned today is that it is always nice to talk about doing something for other people. Talking is great because you are thinking about them and you have the desire to help them. Doing, on the other hand is much more rewarding. Doing is also much harder because it takes effort and in today's hectic times it usually means putting other things off so you can make time to do for others.

Doing feels so good. I plan to do more often. In the process of turning my words into action, I managed to make a pretty awesome friend.

The hug I received, as I said goodbye...the two armed super squeeze hug that lasted almost an entire minute...I can't even put into words how much that meant to me.

Please send prayers for my friend Wilma.